Every once in a while, you come across a book that really digs into you. One of the books that got a hold of me in the last few years was Richard Reeves’ “Of Boys and Men.” The book asks a simple yet penetrating question: “How are men in the United States doing?” The answer was not surprising to me. In short, men aren’t doing well…for a host of reasons. Men are less religious, have fewer friends, are more likely to die deaths of despair (suicide, overdose, alcoholism), are more likely to be incarcerated, and are far less educated than women, and all this at increasingly alarming rates. Men are also less likely than ever to become teachers, which means outside of fathers and coaches, young men are being mentored less and less by other men. Men in their 30’s and 40’s look back fondly at the childhood friendships of their youth. The days of fake swords, plastic Nerf guns, endless fort-building escapades, and yet as they grow older wonder where all their friends have gone.
To top it all off, we live in a culture where men are expected to be either stoic or violent, and at times, are even made fun of for being vulnerable about their struggles. They say, real men don’t cry. They say, pain is just weakness leaving the body. But the state of manhood is revealing that these old adages just don’t work anymore.
How can we celebrate and advocate for the flourishing of women while equally desiring the well-being of men? That’s the question that’s been gnawing at me these last few years. If you’ve heard anything about our flourishing spirit-led MomCo ministry, you know that we are providing a place for women to be women together. I wonder, how can we do more of this for men? To put this all more personally, how do I, as a Christian, be a good and kind father, spouse, colleague, and friend?
The political landscape these days offers little help, and as usual, provides only ill-fitting stereotypes and polarizing comparisons. On the far right, we’re given visions of masculinity that feel, frankly, excessively anti-woman, and unrealistically “manly” in ways that just don’t fit all kinds of men out there. And yet on the far left, we’re given no vision of what a man is at all. Some young men have even expressed to me that they feel the far left has shamed them for being men altogether.
So what does this have to do with the church? Well, we can’t solve all of these issues at once. But what we can do, what we must do, is offer a place where men can gather together. We’ve already got one of those in our lovely Everyman’s Bible class. And so I feel it’s time to offer yet another place for men to gather.
Starting Tuesday, March 3, I invite men of all ages to gather together at 6:30am for Men’s Group Bible study at First Pres. What will we do? Well, it’s quite simple. We will drink coffee, eat donuts, tell jokes, read the Scriptures, share life, and pray for one another. My earnest hope for this Bible Study is that it will be a place for men of different generations to find brothers in Christ who will encourage them in the life of faith. Frankly, I know that this is something I need, and I’m betting that other men feel the same.
